gratitude

The following are parts of the most recent e-mail from Twyla (Ed's stepmom) in Kabul, Afghanistan where she has been living for 2+ years and working in a hospital as an expat. Her specialty area is wound care (and illeostomy and colostomies). . . . Her letters really do cause me to be thankful. Thankful for all the 'little' things that can so easily be taken for granted - working, driving anywhere I choose, doing what I want, speaking up, wearing what I choose . . . .  

***

. . . At the moment I'm in Dubai. And in the morning I'll be flying to Uganda to visit my sister and her husband, who teach at Bugema University.

This has been a bitter-sweet day. [Early this morning] there was a bombing. A suicide car bomber struck a US convoy on the road to the airport. We are the closest civilian hospital in that area so several of the victims were brought to us. I know of two women and five men. It never ceases to amaze me how fast they get them in and out of the emergency room. They were busy clearing the recovery areas so they could accommodate more victims.

So a bombing on the airport road is a bit disconcerting when one is to be on that very road in a few hours. I did see a couple bombed-out vehicles as we drove along, one being a white Toyota Corolla, which is what the bomber used. 

Meanwhile I went to the ICU. There sat Gulallai (the nurse manager) at the table, chin in her hands, staring into space. That is very unlike her. She is usually constantly on the move. I said, "Gulallai, are you all right?" She said something in Dari and my translator broke into a smile and said to her "Congratulations". To me he said, "She's engaged."
Now that was a huge surprise. There was a lot of conversation going on among the staff present in the room and eyes were pointing upwards. It comes out that she is engaged to the nurse manager on the floor above ICU. Now what makes this even more interesting is that he is married. You understand, of course, that it is all right for a Muslim man to have up to four wives at the same time. 

I had heard from one source that he already had two wives, but my interpretor said he had only one, but "she is sick." I've since been told that his first wife is crippled from rheumatoid arthritis. I know he has at least three daughters, beautiful little girls.

I would estimate that both Gulallai and Hanif are in their early 40's. Here in Afghanistan no one seems to know for sure his exact age and for certain they do not know the month and day they were born. Gulallai has never been married. Only yesterday I was told some of the nurses were saying she was too fat to get a husband. She is not fat. She is probably a normal size for someone of her age. You can't be pencil-thin like young 20 year olds when you are twice their age!! I've always admired how nicely she dresses. She assures me it is because she is single and doesn't have a family to be responsible for....

We also had a bit of drama in the hospital this week. I came around a corner and found several groups of people huddled together. When I took a closer look, they were all focused in one direction so I had to look also. I saw a young man in handcuffs with one police officer and several others in plain clothes. Pictures were being taken and then they hustled this fellow down the stairs and out of the building. 

I soon found out that this guy was the brother to one of our nurses. Rumour has it that he was involved in a kidnapping of a shopkeeper and then demanded a ransom. There is even a possibility that he may have been involved in a murder about four months ago.

The next day we heard that the brother (who is our nurse) plus one of his best buddies (also our nurse) were also in jail. More rumours. But the following day, they were both back at work in the hospital. What was their involvement? I don't know. I do know the father of the two brothers is a judge in the supreme court....

Last week I mentioned something about women's rights, especially after we had celebrated International Women's Day....

We had a young lady brought in because she fell from the roof. That is a common occurrence and since I have visited some homes, I can understand. I've crawled up to the second floor on a bamboo ladder before. The home I was in did not have any railings up there so it wouldn't be hard to fall.

This patient had somehow sustained a collapsed lung as a result of her fall. The doctors put in a chest tube connected to underwater-sealed drainage. She was laying there quite comfortably when I was in recovery. A few hours later Shirley came to the office and said one of the general surgeons was absolutely furious because the husband came along and said he was taking the patient home, chest tube and all. The doctor told her he was killing her. That made me wonder if maybe she had a little "help" in falling from the roof. That also is not unheard of.

We have had a little 14-year-old girl in the hospital for about a month now. She had come from the mountain with frost bite. What has puzzled me though is that she has wounds on her shoulders, back, legs, hands, and feet. I can understand that some of these people have to walk for long distances through the snow. We often have men in the hospital with frozen feet, so frozen that they turn black with gangrene and have to be amputated. But with this young girl, she had areas all over her body. Um-m-m. Her wounds also were black and had to be debrided, but she has been healing quite nicely.

Well, the story comes out that two families had young children. Conveniently they made young couples and were "traded" so that they were now married!!!! This young patient of ours was "married" and her young sister-in-law was her caregiver in the hospital. They look like little girls playing house. I'm not even sure that the patient is 14, although that is what the chart says. She was so dirty when she arrived. One day the nurse told her if she didn't allow them to give her a bath, she was going to send her home. One of the cleaners finally succeeded in getting her hair washed. She looked quite nice the next morning.

She is such a little spit-fire. Speaks her mind to whoever is around, including the doctors. She is as cute as can be, rolls her eyes, and really lets us have it.

One day this week, I came to the ward and found her with eye-liner on, some sparkles under her eyes, and a little makeup. She told me she was going home. The doctor had NOT discharged her, but she just made up her mind that she was going home. I asked her who was going to dress her wounds when she got home. She didn't seem to care if they got dressed or not. I guess the "talks" we gave her convinced her to stay, ... as she is still there.

Once again, I asked why she had these wounds all over her body. Well, it seems she does not like living with her father-in-law so one night she went outside and just layed in the snow.

Poor young girls. What they go through.

On the other hand, we have a 21-year-old lady with an ileostomy. When surgery was done they found many holes in her small intestine from TB. She has a lady with her as a caregiver also. We thought this lady was her mother, but it turns out to be her mother-in-law. Daud (my translator) was so shocked that the mother-in-law would be so attentive to this young lady. Many times there is great controversy between the two....

Be thankful for your circumstances and where you live. There are those who suffer things which we may not be able to understand or comprehend....
With love
Twyla