13 months ago today our dossier was registered with the China Center for Adoption Affairs. . .
I am counting. I didn't intend to count (I've never liked thinking about numbers too much) when the waiting began. I thought I could sit back, go about my life as it has been (before we began this adoption process), take it all in stride and when the time came just be like, "Oh, wow! Our referral - that was quick and painless. Yay." But our life has changed already. We have already made a place for our daughter - in our home and in our hearts. It's not just for any daughter either; the 'place' is ready for our daughter from China. There are details specific to her that we will never have access to pertaining to what caused or allowed her to (depending on what perspective you take) become part of our family. Life is like that in many ways though - we rarely, if ever, have full control of or knowledge about all that occurs. We can control how we respond to what happens. All of our experiences shape who we are or who we become.
I didn't start this adoption process with preconceptions. I was open to all possibilities in the beginning. With each choice we made, I / we began to see the path more clearly. I knew very little about China before we began this process (some may not appreciate this; I had no great ties that bound me to this country), but I have learned much through various avenues (via other adoptive parents, Chinese friends in China, Chinese-Americans, books and the internet, etc.). There has been a paradigm shift, and my frame of reference changed; my 'world' grew larger. My heart has become firmly planted in China. I have never seen 'our' child more clearly than I do now. . . . She is from China. I am counting the days.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ~Robert Frost
3 comments:
We hate counting the months but as each one clicks off we know that we are inchng closer and closer to Alyzabeth An.
We'll hold hands and walk this one with you...
Peace.
ac & fm
Lovely post, once again!
I think you nailed one of the major benefits of adopting from China, the fact that your world, should you allow it, becomes larger, nearly 'huge'.
I'm right there with you, amongst the "I love this much" and "green eggs and ham" are books like "d is for dragon" and "hiss boom bam" and nestled around it are asian dolls. Just seems natural now.
ac & fm - thanks...yes, we are getting closer! Possibly we will travel about the same time!
Lisa - you were actually an impetus to 'comment' on other blogs (thereby opening the possibility of learning more /communicating some...making the circle around my world a bit larger) when you began visiting here and leaving a comment (I was so new to blogging and had not thought of the 'comment' thing much yet). Thanks!
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