Pages

4.20.2007

tiny victories

In another life, when I was consumed in the world of infertility treatments (an enormously sucky place to be), I experienced much pain from the comments/advice of others. Much of the time I did not express my thoughts to those compelled to offer insensitive, hurtful comments or advice. In addition to the stress of the whole infertility treatment experience, I was becoming distracted and unable to appreciate all the good parts of my life. I, finally, wondered if I was 'going nuts.' So I sought the help of a counselor that specialized in the treatment of those undergoing infertility treatment (I was 'healed' in 2 visits, using the K.I.S.S. method - who can beat that?).

I only remember one thing she said to me. She asked, "Why do you give your power away?" I didn't understand. She said, "Why do you give your power away? Why don't you speak up about what you think or feel at the time?" I understood. . . . Not that I inherently have a lot of 'power' but becoming apathetic and passive with using my 'voice' makes having it quite useless at the least. At worst, it can result or contribute to a variety of abuses of others (or oneself?).

Expressing your perspective or opinion about things that you feel strongly about or have experience with can be so important. Recently, I risked speaking up about issues that I feel strongly about. It has not been pleasant overall, but this week has been one for 'small victories.'

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. ~Elie Wiesel

6 comments:

C's Mom said...

Very well said. Keep it in practice and I'll try to do the same.

Nikki said...

Good for you!
I don't think that is such a small victory.

Samantha said...

Congratulations! I remember reading this book Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Living (Paperback)
by Robert E. Alberti (Author), Michael Emmons (Author)
Boy did I need to hear(read) what they had to say! It helped me a lot! It feels good to stand up for yourself! I read it many years ago but still remember the lessons.

comingaroundagain said...

c.j., nikki & samantha - thanks! (encouragement is good!)

CS said...

Oh, I'm a big one for speaking up. Gets me in trouble sometimes, but I still think it's important to do. (I changed K.I.S.S. to Keep it simple, sweetie - I hate to have people calling themselves stupid!)

comingaroundagain said...

cs - I like your K.I.S.S. best. Let me say that THIS week, the price I ( and a few others, out of many) paid for speaking up - was quite powerfully endorsed (and were we shocked?!!). I know this does not always happen but when it does - it is incredibly sweet.