As I massaged healthy, happy 6 week old Isabella's muscles, I thought of the daughter we are waiting for. As I watched baby Isabella's mother attend her every need, sound and movement it brought to mind how much attention a little life should have in order to learn to move properly and trust (that her needs will/can be met). I thought of our daughter, who will surely be the testament of a 'survivor' (against odds that I will have little knowledge of). I wondered who, if anyone, was there to hold her when she most needed it, or just wanted it as a baby of 6 weeks old. Who, if anyone, was there to feed her when she cried, or to move her when she became uncomfortable as a baby of 6 weeks old? Of course, I am trusting the orphanage aunties (and possibly others along the way) do the very best they can, but with so many babies, how can they drop everything else for the needs of this baby, the one that will be our daughter? How long will she cry before apathy hushes her?
A swirl of dismal thoughts while watching such a happy Isabella at 6 weeks old. . . no voice was given to these thoughts; they remained in my head. I was happy to see baby Isabella with her mother. . . even if it caused me pause (I believe that our daughter is in an orphanage in China and may have been there for a time already).
It's all OK though, because we are ready and waiting. . . and she is a survivor (against great odds).
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ~Robert Frost
2 comments:
What agony that waiting must be, and the thoughts of her possibly being unhappy even fro a moment. I think I would have to force my self to imagine her being cudled instead. My sister-in-law adopted a baby from Chinaa few years ago - the child is doing great and she just sent me a photo of her daughter driving their boat out on the lake. And, incidentally, the thought of my baby not being attended to was what made me decide not to let him have a pacifier - when he was at daycare I wanted them to have to pick him up when he cried, not just stick something in his mouth.
cs - yes, by this time, I feel like we've waited long enough - but it's all out of my control...like too many things in life sometimes ;-)
It's always good to hear that other children/babies adopted from China are doing well. That's our hope, of course, though we feel ready for some developmental delays as well. I hadn't thought of that reason for not giving your son a pacifier - it makes sense.
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